Enjoy Your Life! Build Your Business! Have Your Way!
Business isn't my ball of choice right now
It's February, and my business brain is still in December. Here's the deal. On a regular basis, I'm juggling several balls - business, homeschool teaching, Momming (that should totally be a verb most days!) and household managing (which includes being the bill-payer, keeping it at least somewhat clean, etc.). I'm a wife, too, but I don't feel like that's one of those balls (it's not a lot of work, and my husband makes it easy to be his partner in life). In January, we started a new financial journey. After years of being broke, living paycheck-to-paycheck, having no savings and owing his parents money from over ten years ago, we decided we were sick of it and signed up for a Financial Peace University class at church. Now we're setting budgets for the first time, coming up with (very common sense) plans to keep on top of expenses, getting ready to create an emergency fund and getting our butts out of debt (and that's just the first three steps of seven!). I'm EXCITED about this! Dave Ramsey says that in most marriages, there's a nerd and there's a free spirit. Folks, I am the Nerd and damn proud of it! I had our zero-balance cash flow plan to the penny. I've been calculating (sometimes manually, just for the fun of it) what our return would be if we saved this amount every week or if we set this aside; or how fast we could pay off our mortgage if we made this many extra payments per year. I've been blogging about our journey here.
I often live by something my Div School dean said: "You don't add graduate theological education to your life. You have to subtract something." I tell people I'm working at least three jobs: CEO, teacher and early childhood educator. I have no room to add something else to my life, but I did, and I don't regret it. However... Something's giving that shouldn't be giving - my business.
I don't want to attend to my business right now. There. I said it. I've been making soap. I've been taking care of customers when they've placed orders through my site. It's my large-order customers who are suffering. I'm behind. I've got soaps to wrap and deliver, and I KNOW that good things will happen once I get that done. (For the record, I got halfway there yesterday.) Sitting at my computer, I pull up Excel to invoice a customer and start tweaking the budget. I try to do my business blog, and instead of soap, I'm thinking home finances and our debt snowball. Instead of taking pictures of products for my website, I want to take pics of items to sell on Craigslist or Ebay. I. Even. Missed. My. January. Newsletter. This does not happen in my world. It's so frustrating! I've got events coming up in April, May and June, on top of my large order customers. I just feel apathetic, which is completely unlike me.
I just had to get that out there. I had to own what I was going through. Thanks for "listening."
~Sara
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ricci Ackerman on -
My heart really goes out to everyone on this post. Donna Maria's story of her day, and her children, the tumult, anger, and getting back to stasis. Sara labeling 50 bars of soap (ugh! - I know) and being back in balance. Getting the finances in order - a huge big Yea!!!! Mary and her baby goats - oh how I wish I had some goats - but would I feel like feeding them after dark, in the cold, but she does it anyway. I don't have children, like Mary, and can barely take care of myself (or so it seems) - but I know I would do what it takes to care for them.
I have known for a long time I need to really look at my finances - I had a nice, nice amount put away for myself but have been taking dollars from the wrong places to "stay alive". Logically I know it's stupid, but I haven't been willing to make the drastic changes that would be logical to do. This is the year to face the unwilling and keep moving on. I want to sell my house that's too large for me and get my "cottage" with wild greenery for wildcrafting herbs and my artist studio in the back.
You are all wonderful, strong, resilient women. Kudos to you all!
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Permalink Reply by La Shonda Tyree on -
Sara, I read your post and the comments yesterday morning. Later that morning I was looking through a bunch of books I had purchased when Borders was going out of business at one of our local malls. I bought the book "The Present" by Spencer Johnson. I started reading it about 12:30 yesterday morning and read half way through then later that night I read the rest with about 7 pages to read in the morning. It is an easy read (big letters on 107 pages).
It was about "The Present" a gift for changing times. It basically says there are 3 ways to use your present moments to enjoy your work and life, NOW!
I quote.
"Be in the Present: When you want to be happier and more effective. Focus on What is Right Now. Respond to What is Important TODAY.
Learn from the Past: When you want to make the present better than the past. Look at what happened in the Past. Learn something valuable from it. Do things differently TODAY!
Help Create the Future: When you want to make the future better than the present. Imagine what a wonderful future would look like. Make a realistic plan. Do something today to help it happen.
Realize Your Purpose: Explore ways to make your work and life more meaningful."
I immediately thought of you and of course myself. If you can steal a couple hours and go to your local library or bookstore and purchase the book I think you will enjoy it.
The main thing I got from it is Focus on "The Present". Complete one task and move on the the next. I know we are multitaksers by nature but when I focus on one thing at a time I feel better and I feel more accomplished.
It is a process and don't expect things to change immediately or you to be perfect at it but the thing is you are focused but make sure you are happy TODAY stress about the future! Plan for it but stress don't about it.
Now...time for me to apply this advice to my own life ;-)
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Permalink Reply by dM, CEO on -
Thank you for that, La Shonda. "The Present" (and "Who Moved My Cheese" by the same author) are two of my favorite books. I can run a bath, get in and read them before the water is cold! I'm so glad you shared this, because I think I need to re-read that book again!
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Permalink Reply by La Shonda Tyree on
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I was thinking the same thing about Who Moved My Cheese. A cousin gave it to me for Christmas one year at the time my job laid me off. I love his approach.
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Permalink Reply by dM, CEO on
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I cannot stop thinking about this post, and the comments being added are making it all the better.
I re-read the title of the Discussion today: "business isn't my ball of choice right now."
And it started me to thinking. Hmmmm.
We do have lots of balls to juggle in the air.
We do have choices about which balls we juggle at any given time.
We do have choices about which of those balls we juggle all the time.
So, thinking about those choices.
About Weekly Ball Dropping
Some balls, I can drop. For example, if I'm having a super busy week and don't get a chance to cook, I can drop the home cooking ball for a week by going to fast food, frozen pizza and Hungry Man-type stuff, hiring someone to cook for me, or getting the kids to get whatever's in the fridge and just eat it.
But I can't drop the ball of making sure my kids have something to eat. I may not fix it, but it has to be there for them. And the only way I can make sure there's food in the house is if I earn the money to bring it through the door. I remember this type of thing when I need to do something for my business that I don't want to do.
About The Business Ball
When I apply this logic to business, If I'm having a super busy week and I don't get a chance to publish my regularly scheduled blog post, I can drop it totally that week. I probably won't even get a guest blogger. I'll just drop it. Intentionally and lovingly drop it.
But I cannot drop the ball of maintaining my blog. I may not blog that week, but I must maintain a blog because my blog is one of the ways I support my family.
I don't always want to blog. I don't always want to keep my podcast schedule. I don't always want to update my website. And sometimes, I drop those balls.
But I cannot drop the big ball (the business) and I cannot drop a ton of the little ones at the same time, because if I do, then I have no way to support myself.
Every Situation Is Different
Not everyone in business is in this situation. Some people have a spouse that pays the house bills so their business does not have to make them a tremendous salary. Some people like the idea of a traditional job, so they may decide to drop the big ball and go get one.
Of course if I couldn't run my business for some reason, I'd get a job to support my family. There's nothing I wouldn't do to make sure my children are clothed, fed, and educated.
That's a given. But for now, I want to lead my business not only because I love it (which luckily, I do!!), but also because it supports my family. But even if I didn't love it (and there are times ...), I lead it anyway. Why? Of course, because it supports my family. No business, no food.
Whenever I have to do something business related that I don't want to do, I think along these lines. It may not work for everyone, but it does work for me.
Hope it helps you, Sara, or anyone else reading.
dM
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Permalink Reply by Katie Friedland on -
Oh, Sara! I must say, I am very impressed with all of you women who have the fortitude to home school your children! My kids would be dead by now if they didn't go to school every day! So running a business from home while having your kids there to educate and mind all day must really be a tremendous amount of work! We all do have those days where we just can't function. I have learned to surrender to those days: I eat chocolate and surf the internet! I have come to trust that "this too shall pass", and just use the time to do nothing - I have in fact been caught lying on the couch watching Law & Order re-runs from time to time! However, my kids are teenagers and they are gone from 7:15 in the morning until 4:00 pm each day, so that really helps! But surrendering to a down-day really helps me a lot. It revives my spirit and usually everything gets back to normal the very next day.
If you get too many days like this, though, it probably would be a good idea to start paring away some of your tasks. You always have choices: reducing your wholesale accounts, streamlining your product inventory, sending your kids to school, hiring a house keeper or an assistant to your business, and even choosing your divinity path over your business and leaving the soapmaking as a hobby. It's possible to achieve many of our dreams, but we do have to be realistic about what we can achieve in the here and the now, or as Mary puts it, we might not achieve anything at all!
I'm glad you got a little reprieve and were able to bust butt on that soap wrapping! Good job!
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